


Boo! Caught You!

by Jaspre_Rose



Category: Psych
Genre: Crack, Hilarious, Language, M/M, Music, acting like children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:37:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6388630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaspre_Rose/pseuds/Jaspre_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Detective Lassiter catches a certain psychic in his house when he gets off work one day. As punishment, he sends him to his father. Henry, not to be outdone, sends him right back. Hilarity ensues. Shassie eventually. Gus makes an awesome appearance, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boo! Caught You!

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on fanfiction.net under Jaspre.
> 
> When writing a story, if one ends up laughing too much, it will most likely be dubbed crack. Idk. Some chica – by which I probably mean myself – might have passed that nugget of truth on. Take heed. Might be crack, might not, might be hilarious, might be lame. I don't even know anymore.
> 
> But seriously, I wrote this years ago and I've been up since BEFORE the a**crack of dawn so this might not be as funny to someone who isn't chugging coffee to stay awake. You’ve been warned.

 

 

"Spencer!" Shawn jumped when he heard the enraged voice so close behind him.

"Shit! Oh, er… hi, Lassie. Uh, what are you doing here?" Shawn asked. Seeing the glass he'd dropped to floor, he bent to pick it up. It had broken, of course. Without thinking, he grabbed the broom from the pantry, cleaned up the shards of glass, and deposited them in the wastebasket beneath the sink. Realizing what he was doing, he froze and turned to the detective still behind him. He flinched at the expression on his face- equal parts shock and anger.

' _Oh, man, Lassiter is never home this early. And crap! I just did all that… there's no way I can play that off,'_ he thought in a panic.

His thoughts were flying a hundred miles an hour, trying to plot out an escape route while maintaining eye contact with the gun Lassiter still had in his hand. This could not be happening to him. He had never been caught before. Almost desperately, Shawn tried to creep past Lassiter the moment his eyes turned onto the room.

"This is  _my_  home," Lassiter finally answered him, his eyes moving back to Shawn's face. The slowly-spoken words, said in a tone of voice Shawn didn't recognize, scared the crap out of him.

' _Yep, he's gonna kill me.'_

Lassiter finally holstered his gun and narrowed his eyes at him. He leaned against the doorway, raised an eyebrow, and waited.

' _Oh, yeah, I should be saying something. But what? 'Yeah, sorry I broke in your house. It's just that I like to touch your things because it makes me happy? And sometimes I like to lay on your bed and breathe in the scent of your pillows. Nothing too creepy'. Somehow, I think I'd be dead before I finished_ that  _statement. Shit, shit, shit-'_

Lassiter broke into Shawn's thoughts "Spencer, what are you doing in my house and how did you get in? If you say you broke in, I'll do something worse than take you to the police station in cuffs, I assure you."

"Like kill me? Because I feel I should let you know that I don't fancy getting shot today." He paused and added, "Or killed."

"Oh, no. I wouldn't waste a bullet on you, Spencer. I'd take you straight to your father. Without your bike or cell phone. No one would be able to save you," Lassiter said. His expression left no doubt in Shawn's mind that he would do it too.

"That's cruel and unusual, even for you, Lass. Besides, you can't do that, because my Dad is still pissed at me for something he claims I did last-" Lassiter interrupted him by raising his hand. Shawn immediately stopped talking.

"You're hedging, Spencer. Answer my questions. Now." He had moved closer to Shawn. When?

' _If he steps a few more inches closer, I could probably run to the door. Judging by his age and his level of exhaustion, I'd probably have a chance.'_

"Well, you see… I was, uh, bored! Yes, I was bored and decided to… come see you," Shawn improvised and finished with a huge grin. Hopefully Lassie would be distracted enough by his grin.

"You were bored at three o'clock in the afternoon and decided to come see me, even though I know you somehow know I work until six o'clock every night," Lassiter repeated, adding his own information into the story. "Which is creepy even for you, Spencer."

"Uh huh," Shawn whimpered. The less he said, the better. That just seemed to piss the head detective off more, because he stepped right in front of Shawn to start yelling at him. Shawn took his chance, dove to the side, and bolted to the front door.

' _Ten more feet!'_ he mentally coached himself. ' _Lassie's probably still-'_

Before he even had a chance to finish his thought, he was tackled to the ground by what felt like a frickin' linebacker. In about three seconds flat, Lassiter was straddling Shawn's legs, using his hips to keep him down, and had his arms holding Shawn's hands above his head. Shawn was trying his damnedest to breathe, but wasn't really succeeding. Lassiter wasn't even breathing hard.

' _You know, this usually turns out different in my head. Somehow I don't think we're about to have sex. Dammit. Although, I can deal with having an angry Lassie pin me down for a few more minutes. And if he just so happens to snap me into cuffs…'_

Shawn's eyes widened as Lassiter leaned down, his blue eyes penetrating Shawn's hazel ones. "Gotcha," he whispered. Shawn almost let out a moan, but held it in. He knew that of everything he'd ever done and would ever do, that's the  _one thing_ he probably shouldn't. Instead, he silently watched Lassiter's lips curl into a smug grin.

"Uh, ehm, Lassie?" Shawn really needed Lassiter to get off of him or this would get bad really quick.

"C'mon, Spencer," Lassiter said as he jumped off of Shawn. He reached down and pulled Shawn up, too. "We've got a visit to pay to your father."

"Well, damn."

' _Walking in to find Shawn in my house, messing with my stuff, would have been easier to deal with today if I hadn't been dreaming about the little twerp all day. Ugh!'_

He shoved out a sigh.

"Spencer, let's do this."

 _If only… Though, of all people, I had to want to…_ Carlton glanced over at the man in his passenger seat.  _I had to choose the one with a woman permanently glued to his side._

He took a deep breath and drove a little faster, trying hard to ignore… Shawn. Sigh.

"Mr. Spen- Henry, we have a problem," Carlton announced the moment Henry opened the door.

"What's that, Carlton?" He watched the understanding light Henry's eyes when he saw Shawn standing in cuffs. "What the hell he do this time?" he asked and nodded at his son. Carlton could hear the irritation already in his voice, just like Spencer had predicted.

' _Ha, apparently this isn't the first time Spencer's been in…'_

Carlton cut his thoughts off there, just in case. "I just thought you should know I came home from work to see  _your son_ standing in the middle of my kitchen, drinking out of my favorite mug," he told Henry and swung to face Shawn as he continued, " which he broke." The last word was more of a snarl than a spoken word.

"SHAWN! Get in the house… Wait, where's his bike?" Henry asked. He looked to Carlton in question.

"It's at my house. As is his cell phone." He was trying really hard to not laugh as much as Henry was. Shawn just sulked by the porch railing.

"Can someone take these cuffs off of me? I mean, it's one thing if I'm cuffed in bed, but this? I'm not cool with," Shawn said. The laughter cut off instantly.

"Spencer, did you really just say-" Carlton began to ask, but Henry yelled louder, "That's misuse of police property!"

' _May as well make myself comfortable,'_ Lassiter thought. He could feel a good fight about to start. ' _Too bad I don't have a camera on me…'_

He leaned against the railing and took in the scene unfolding in front of him. Miraculously, Shawn was now out of the cuffs.

' _Did he pick the locks? With what? He better not have scratched them, or I'll kill him.'_

"Is that what happened to the pair of cuffs I lost in 1994? I always knew that was you!" Henry yelled at his son. Carlton's head turned to see Shawn's response. Shawn laughed at his father.

"I needed a pair. Don't worry, they've been well used," Shawn snarked. He then went into the details of how, when, and the number of times they had been used in the past… and the not so recent past. Carlton flinched and spent several long moments telling himself he flinched at Henry's expression; it had nothing to do with what Shawn had said.

' _I'm beginning to think he has problems.'_

Carlton's head bounced back to look in Henry's direction. He was almost concerned when he saw Henry's face scrunch up, but it turned out to only be from disgust.

"I'm glad my son makes me so proud. It's breaking my heart, really, that I can't congratulate all of the women- how many did you say?- that you've had in those cuffs," Henry said, his voice starting out sickly sweet and morphing into sarcasm.

Carlton was entranced in the argument. He caught Shawn's lip moving into a sneer and turned his head quickly to see Henry's eyes narrow.

"Do you want to hear about them all, Dad? Angela, Britney, Amy, Jessie, Monica, Lizzie, Jamie, and Melissa wouldn't mind, but I think Dom, James, Todd, Eli, Frank, Billy, Zeb, Caleb, Eric, Will… or was he Bill?, Nick, and Matt might mind. What do you think?"

Shawn simply smirked evilly when he was done. Carlton's mouth was hanging wide open, he could feel it had dropped, but he couldn't seem to close it. Henry, though, was dumbfounded. Shawn went inside right after, leaving the two other men on the porch.

About thirty minutes later, Carlton stood up. Shawn had long since gone inside and Carlton wanted to get home before too much longer. There were some things he had to try to forget about.

"Uh, Henry, I'm… uh, gonna go. I'm not going to press charges or anything," Carlton said to Henry and searched his pocket for his keys. "Maybe you can work him for free labor or something," he muttered to himself while still patting his pockets.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I think I know what Shawn can do to repay the favor. I've been thinking about it the last half hour-"

Carlton cut him off in shock " _That's_  what you've been thinking about? The whole time?"

"Carlton, I've suspected that about my son since he turned fifteen. He had a friend, Ryan, stay the night. For a week. Anyway, this plan. Do you need a new fence for the yard?" Henry asked and smiled widely at Carlton.

"You want me to build a fence for Carlton Lassiter, the same man who hates me and wants to put me in cuffs-"

"Yes, Shawn, I get it, 'not in the fun way'-" Henry was cut off by his son.

"By myself. Without even Gus to help. Who am I gonna talk to? I'd end up shooting myself in the head with a nail gun within three hours!"

Eventually, Shawn's whining and pleading hadn't gotten him anywhere. He'd finally agreed to build the damn fence, without even Gus to talk to, in exchange for having no charges pressed against him for breaking and entering.

His father would buy all of the materials he would need- wood, nails, paint, and so on- and Carlton agreed to provide any food and drink he thought Shawn would need. If Shawn wanted anything else, he would have to bribe someone to get it for him.

He was to work on the fence until it was completely finished, nicely painted and all. Henry would be looking it over at the end and if anything was imperfect, he'd dismantle the whole thing and make him start from scratch. Just like that damn dog house. Saturday would be his first day.

Carlton loves Saturday mornings. He always wakes up early enough to watch the sun rise from his kitchen. After, he'll get dressed, then spend hours lounging around. He loves having Saturdays to himself, though he keeps his phone with him at all times. Just in case.

Today, though, wasn't a lounge day. Shawn Spencer, eternal pain in his ass, would be on his property for hours… today and tomorrow… and the following weekends for however long it took to do the fence out back. He sighed.

' _Well, since I'm not going into work today, I think I'll wear something more casual'_ was the first thought he had after waking up, watching the sunrise, drinking coffee, and coming back to his room.

In favor of his decision, Carlton reached into a drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans and grabbed a t-shirt from the closet (he still owed his sister for convincing him jeans really were more comfortable than his beloved suits). He slipped on some shoes and debated leaving his phone upstairs, because he had been forbidden to come in to work this weekend (Henry had gotten a hold of Karen so until Spencer was done, he couldn't work weekends), but he may need to call for an ambulance for Spencer.

He made his way down the stairs and to the front lawn to grab his paper before slowly meandering back to his small, but well-stocked, kitchen for coffee. Half an hour later, Carlton was still in the kitchen- brewing a new pot of coffee, in fact- when he heard the doorbell chime. He covered his surprise that Shawn would even be awake at this time of day and headed to the door.

"Evil, coffee, Henry," Shawn grumbled. Carlton gave him a quick once-over. His hair was ruffled more than usual (probably because he had literally just woken up), he had loose work clothes on, a tool belt clung to his hips, and dark sunglasses hung from the front of his ratty t-shirt.

"Are you actually awake?" Carlton asked him, a bemused smile touching his lips. He would never admit it, but Shawn looked adorable when he was half-asleep.

"Lass, coffee, pleeeeease," Shawn whined.

"Ah, it speaks again," Carlton murmured and turned back to the kitchen. He heard Shawn clunking behind him so he didn't bother telling him to follow.

"Spencer, your father dropped everything off last night. It's all out back," Carlton indicated the piles while he talked.

Shawn didn't even pay attention. Within seconds, he had a steaming cup of black coffee under his nose and was attempting to drain the mug before the coffee could even slightly cool down.

"Ahhh… I know, Lass, I was the one who unloaded it all," Shawn's face twisted to show how  _un_ fun that was for him. Un-fun? Carlton's head cocked to the side. That wasn't even a word and it was such a Spencer word to think.

"You went from only being able to say three words to a full sentence, complete with a sense of dislike of your father, with only a few sips of coffee? What can you do with a whole pot?"

Shawn snorted. "Don't be so shocked, Lassito. I wake up quickly. That's how I survive in this cruel, cruel world."

' _Good Lord, I hope that wasn't a reference to what he said last night. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know.'_

"Okay, um, right. When you're ready," he gestured to the back door while speaking.

"Right. Will you be serving me tasty, ice-cold glasses of lemonade while I work, Carly?"

"Shut up, Spencer."

Shawn watched in amusement as Lassie's expression darkened in anger. He loved teasing that man.

"Fine. Be that way. I'll just have to come inside whenever I get thirsty!"

With that, Shawn turned for the back door. He pulled the doors wide and stared in wonder at Carlton's backyard. He was standing on a hand-built porch, he could tell. There were plush deck chairs right by the doors, directly in front of him. About five feet away from him lay the edge of a hot tub built right into the deck, three little steps led down into the water; the tub was circled by three more of the plush chairs. There didn't seem to be a shortage of deck space. Beyond the stairs lay a pool amidst lush green grass. The pool was built into the ground. Classy. It was about 15 feet by 30 feet. Immense, compared to the kiddy pool he has set up in the storage closet at Psych.

' _How have I never seen this before?'_ he wondered to himself.

"Wow…" he let out on a sigh.

"Nice, isn't it?" Carlton's voice asked from seemingly nowhere. Shawn spun around in shock and got a face-full of head detective.

"Mphh," Shawn answered. He took a deep breath and pulled back from Carlton's chest. He could feel his face heating up with what must be a wicked blush. "How do you keep doing that?" he finally asked in irritation. Carlton's only answer was a smirk.

"I'm head detective for a reason, Shawn," he said and turned on his heel. It didn't escape Shawn's attention that Carlton had just called him  _Shawn._

"Well, whaddaya know?" he asked in surprise. His brow furrowed in thought as he walked to the end of the porch and started scanning the yard.

Carlton was sipping on some coffee and watching Shawn from the kitchen window.

' _Why is he just standing there?'_ he thought in confusion. ' _He does know what to do, right?'_

Suddenly, his cell phone went off. He picked it up and saw it was Shawn himself texting.

' _What the hell?'_ he thought before opening the message.

- _Hey, Lassie, do you want this around the whole yard?-_

_-Yea.-_

_-Privacy fence? *snirk*-_

_-What else?-_

_-K-_

Carlton watched Shawn stare at the yard once more before walking straight to the pile of wood. He was just slightly confused when Shawn randomly started throwing the wood into different piles. They were all the same shape and he had no idea how Shawn was classifying them. To get some answers, he walked out to the porch and watched closer.

"Somethin wrong, Lass?" Shawn asked, sweat already starting to build up on his forehead. It  _was_ going to be a muggy day. Luckily he had an A.C. He nearly chuckled.

"What's with the piles?" he asked as he leaned against the railing by the pool, coffee cup still in hand.

"Wha- oh, that. This pile is ¾" longer than this pile. I just like to get everything in groups before starting. You never know when it'll help," Shawn explained distractedly. He was busy gazing out at the yard again.

"You can tell that?" Carlton was amazed.

"Yeah, uh, how big is your yard, Lassie?" Shawn asked, looking at him now.

' _What does it matter? Oh, right.'_

"The people I bought the house from said it was roughly 30 feet by 40 feet. I didn't need to worry about it when I did the deck. What?" he asked when he saw Shawn's face.

"Well, first of all, they lied. It's 25 feet by 40 feet. Actually," he turned to the yard momentarily, "yeah, 25.7 feet by 40.96 feet exactly. I need to know to get this exact or Henry will make me redo it."

' _He's… there's no way… right? How? What?'_ Carlton had no way to answer the questions in his head. He continued watching Shawn for a bit. The younger man was flitting around, dropping… jellybeans on the ground?

"What the hell are you doing to my lawn, Sh-pencer?" he called to the other man.

"Marking 8 foot sections. I'm going to have to fence wrap the house a bit on the sides. It'll be good."

' _Would there even be a point in my asking if he knows if those really are 8 foot sections?'_

Deciding he should go do something, he turned and walked straight into the house.

_-Dad, two gates: overkill?-_

_-You have a removable panel?-_

_-Yea.-_

_-Then yeah. He'll have the gate, the panel, and the entry from the house.-_

_-Right.-_

After receiving confirmation that two gates would be pretty much pointless, Shawn went back to digging postholes.

' _It's so hot. Ugh.'_ Shawn shucked off his shirt and tossed it to the steps before grabbing up his shovel. ' _But judging by the sun, I've only been here about two hours, which would put the time at a quarter to nine. I'm making good time. Wonder what Lassie's doing. You know what! Stop! I'm tired of thinking about him! It's distracting me!'_

He stomped his foot in response to his thoughts, mentally glared at himself, and ripped his old iPod and headphones out of his tool belt. Grumbling, he roughly shoved the earbuds into his ears.

Carlton had been doing good. He'd been inside, mindlessly flipping through old magazines, his thoughts well away from the 'boy' outside. Naturally, though, he'd had to get bored with his magazines and switched to his television. Nothing was on so he started channel surfing when he landed on some kid's channel with a sponge that he suspected was gay, an angry squid, and a starfish that was dumber than a box of rocks. And of course the gay one lives in a pineapple, which reminded him of Shawn, which reminded him of his confession last night, which of course reminded him that he was in his backyard... half-naked.

Giving up, he threw the remote across the room and stalked to his kitchen.

' _I'm only thirsty. I'm_ not  _checking up on him… again.'_

Carlton took that moment to glance out the window and saw Shawn dancing with his shovel. He saw his lips moving and got curious as to which song it was. He propped open the window far enough until he heard Shawn's voice travel through the screen.

"I'm bossy! I'm the first girl to scream on a track. I switched up the beat of the drum. That's right, I brought all the boys to the yard," Shawn sang loudly, his hips swirling around the shovel's handle.

' _It's a miracle he's getting anything done with dancing like that'_ Carlton scoffed to himself. He realized he was still staring at Shawn and whipped around, his eyes glued resolutely to his fridge.

' _So thirsty. Just need some… lemonade!'_ His face broke into a huge grin as he pulled out a pitcher and lemons.

' _This is ridiculous.'_ Shawn sighed. ' _It's getting so muggy out here.'_

Shawn's eyes shot to the pool nearby and decided that if it got any hotter, he was just gonna have to throw an impromptu pool party. He sniggered to himself.

' _Hey, though, that's an idea worth pursuing…'_

As if in tune with the direction his thoughts were yet again going, his iPod turned to a new song. Hearing the opening, Shawn turned the music up and sang louder.

"Relax, don't do it when you want to go to it. Relax, don't do it when you want to come. Relax, don't do it when you want to come, when you want to come!"

He was having so much fun twirling his hips and singing along with the dirty (aka awesome) song that he didn't even notice the man watching him from the porch.

"Relax, don't do it when you want to go to it. Relax, don't do it when you want to come. Relax, don't do it when you want to suck to it. Relax, don't do it when you want to come. Come- oh oh oh!"

Carlton watched in horrified bliss as Shawn's hips rocked sideways. Each verse, Shawn's voice got louder. The man was standing in his backyard, shirtless, tanned, sweaty, and singing  _that_ song.

"Shawn," Carlton attempted to get Shawn's attention. Every time he sang something, his hips moved to the words. It was getting ridiculous.

"But shoot it in the right direction!" Swishy hip.

"Shawn!"

"Make making it your intention- ooh yeah!" Swish swish.

"SHAWN!"

"Live those dreams, scheme those schemes!" Swish swish swish.

"SPENCER!"

"Got to hit me, hit me, hit me with those laser beams!" Swish swish swish. Twirl.

This time, when Shawn's hips swished, it turned him around enough to see Carlton laughing so hard, he was doubled over and gasping for air, his tray of iced lemonade sitting on the railing. He pulled his earbuds out and paused his music.

' _How long has he been there!'_

"Uh, Lassiter, Carlton. Um, how long have you been there?" Shawn asked, feeling more than a little exposed. He rarely even moved like that in bed, let alone in public. Granted, that had something to do with how it usually took something really special to get him to move his hips  _exactly_  like that, but whatever.

"Well, see, I was in the kitchen and heard 'I'm bossy!' floating through my window. Oh, and nice dance moves," Carlton teased and parroted Shawn's hip thrusts and swishes.

Shawn's eyes crossed, which is something that Carlton didn't miss.

"However, the real highlight of the show was walking out with some drinks to see you starting with 'but shoot it in the right direction!' with a swishy hip- circling my shovel, by the way," Carlton said and modeled the move Shawn had done, "and finishing with 'got to hit me, hit me, hit me with those laser beams!' with a swish swish swish, twirl." Once again, Carlton's hips mimicked Shawn's dance moves. Without the shovel, they somehow looked even more sexual to Shawn.

By the end, Carlton was laughing again from the memory of it all. Shawn, however, had about a few more seconds of being around Carlton before he threw himself into the more-than-likely freezing pool or ran inside to, uh, pee.

"You still in there?" Carlton asked, waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"Gah!" Shawn yelled in surprise.

' _When did Lassie get so close to me? Carlton's looking at me. Right. Um, something.'_

"It's hot. Is that lemonade?" Shawn covered his blatant staring. Carlton didn't look like he would let it go, but he eventually nodded.

"Yeah, you mentioned you'd want some. Thirsty?" he asked while watching Shawn closely.

' _I can't figure out if he thinks I've lost my mind or if I'm suffering from heat stroke. The looks are eerily similar…'_

' _Hmmm. I wonder if I read that right…'_

"Yeah, I thought I was gonna have to swallow my tongue at some point," Shawn joked.

' _Right.'_

"Funny, your voice sounded just fine," he replied.

"Har har," Shawn answered. Shawn took a sip of the lemonade and practically moaned. "Oh my pineapple!"

"Pineapple?" he asked, trying to think of anything but Shawn moaning around him, and OH GOD.

"Don't knock other people's religion, Lass, it's disrespectful," Shawn said reproachfully.

"Uh huh. Well, I'm going to take a swim before lunch," he announced to Shawn's back. He saw the lemonade glass slip a bit in Shawn's grip. He grinned to himself.

' _Mhmm. I was right.'_

"Uh huh. Well, I'm going to take a swim before lunch," Carlton said.

' _Oh my god. I have to look, but if I do… fuckfuckfuck. This sucks. I wonder if he'll notice if I happen to take some pics, maybe stare for a bit, drool a little?'_

"Oh, o-okay, L-lassie. Well, y-you have f-fun," he said as calmly as he could.

' _I almost managed to not stutter through the whole thing! Right. I did nothing but stutter. I sounded like an idiot. Effffffffffff!'_

Shawn's hands clawed into his hair and he took a deep breath.

' _I'm assuming Carlton's changing into shorts right now, so just gonna have a mini-freakout. I frickin deserve it! Nobody should be able to even contemplate being around a smoking hot, dripping wet, pepper haired Carlton Lassiter and remain sane. It's insane to even try. I mean, Lassie is hot enough, but add the dripping wet…_ **DAMMIT!** _'_

Carlton watched in interest as Shawn kept his back to him and latched onto his hair. He wanted to ask if the younger man was okay, but he didn't think it wise to interrupt. He swore he heard a whimper escape his mouth once.

' _Guess I'll wait.'_

He shrugged to himself and pulled his shirt and jeans off. He'd put on his trunks after making lemonade. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest for a few silent minutes before Shawn finally turned around.

"You okay there?" he asked.

"Carlton? How long have you been standing there? Just curious," Shawn's eyes darted everywhere but the face in front of him as he spoke.

' _He's embarrassed? Ooh, this must be good.'_ He resisted the urge to rub his hands together. He already had an idea what Shawn's freakout was about, though.

"The whole time," he answered Shawn.

"Right. Have to pee," Shawn exclaimed and took off at a sprint to the back doors.

Carlton only smiled widely and dove into the pool.

' _This could be fun.'_  He laughed deeply, then swam to the opposite edge.

' _How long have I been gone? Did he figure it out? Oh my god, what if he did? Heh, I_ could  _always tell him the truth, but then he may really kill me.'_ Shawn's previously smirking face went serious as he thought about what he'd just done and how Lassie must never know, especially since it had kinda sorta maybe been done in Lassie's room. Maybe.

' _One problem taken care-'_

Shawn's thoughts came to a slamming halt the moment he stepped onto the back porch. Carlton Lassiter was laying in a deck chair. He is more muscular than the suits will let him admit; he was also soaking wet, the water was still running trails down his chest, the muscles in his chest were bunching and unbunching with Carlton's every move, his hair was darker when wet, he eyes were closed, his lips stretched in an easy smile… one hand was behind his neck… the other was resting lightly on his abdomen… those shorts hid absolutely noth-

' _HOLY HELL!'_ his head screamed at him.

"Shawn?" Carlton was now looking at Shawn, moving towards him in slo-mo. His tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth and he couldn't look away from that chest…

' _Oh shit, I can't talk.'_

"You okay?" Carlton asked, standing in front of him now. Carlton raised a hand and moved it over his eyes. When he got no response, he grabbed onto one of Shawn's arms.

"Fuck, Lass," Shawn finally breathed out.

' _Yeah, cold. Pool! Pool is cold. Cold.'_

Before Carlton could say anything, Shawn took off at an easy jog, losing his tool belt, kicking off his shoes, and unbuttoning his jeans all at the same time. The moment he reached the pool's edge, he shoved his jeans off and jumped in the pool.

' _It's warm! Oh GOD. This is pure torture,'_ Shawn shook his head in exasperation, eyes closed tight.

Carlton knew Shawn was staring at him. He felt the man's eyes on him, so he made sure he looked damn good.

' _Perhaps it's a little much?'_ he thought to himself before snickering a bit. ' _Right.'_

He opened his eyes to see Shawn's gaze traveling down his chest to his…

' _Is he still breathing?'_ Carlton panicked a little inside. Shawn went as still as ice, his eyes widening to dinner plate proportions, and he still hadn't taken a breath seconds later.

' _Okay, maybe I should go check on him?'_ He started walking over to Shawn. The younger man didn't even notice.

"Shawn?" Shawn hadn't moved, but at least he was breathing again. He looked like he wanted to say something, but that might just be his imagination.

"You okay?" He was finally in front of Shawn. The man was breathing, yes, and actually blinked.

' _About damn time. That was kinda creepy.'_

"Fuck, Lass," Shawn breathed out, his head tilted up towards Carlton's neck. The breath whooshed across the wet skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

'… _the hell?'_ Carlton watched Shawn take off at a jog, shucking as many things on him as quickly as possible. Shawn took a second by the pool to shrug out of his jeans before diving beneath the water. Carlton walked to the edge of the pool while Shawn was under.

Feeling a sly grin light on his face, Carlton slowly let himself into the water and waded over to the other man. Shawn was shaking his head, pouting, and squeezing his eyes closed. Carlton laughed evilly to himself before pouncing.

Shawn was still shaking his head sadly when he felt his world turn on its side. Literally.

"AHH!" he screamed as long arms grabbed onto him. He found himself balanced over a laughing Carlton.

"Carly! PUT ME DOWN!" he squeaked, then blushed.

"Where's the fun in that, Shawn?" he laughed so deeply, Shawn felt the vibrations hit his thigh and upper arm.

"While I'm hanging here-" was cut off by Shawn's very girlish scream when Carlton decided to throw him into the pool. Shawn came up sputtering into Carlton's laughing face.

"You! Are such a jerk!" he half laughed, half yelled at Carlton.

' _Pool party is soooooo gonna happen. Gus can plan it. Lassie's so invited!'_

Carlton went to grab for Shawn again, but he ducked under the surface and swam between the older man's legs. He popped out of the water and onto Lassie's back, fully expecting Carlton to slip backwards into the pool. Carlton had other plans, obviously, as he grabbed Shawn's waist with an arm, dragged him around to his front, then "slipped" into the water, Shawn trapped below him. This time, they both came up laughing and spitting water at each other.

Shawn lunged to one end of the pool, trying to get away from the apparently superhuman strength Lassie owns when in a pool.

Carlton followed, grabbed Shawn's ankle, and finally managed to throw him over his shoulder. Carlton held him still by smacking him once, then leaving his hand there. Shawn's attempts to struggle were hilarious. Then Carlton's phone rang.

' _What's he going to do?'_

' _Dammit, phone's ringing.'_ He sent a glance at Shawn's bottom, currently by his head, one hand keeping it still, and shrugged. ' _Guess I'll just go answer it.'_

He walks to the edge of the pool and Shawn started squirming.

"Lassie! Let me go!" Shawn cried, kicking his legs around. Carlton landed another smack on Shawn and walked up the stairs of the pool. Shawn was now draped over his shoulder and couldn't move for fear of falling off and dying because he cracked his head open.

"Lassiter," Carlton answered. He felt Shawn's head move sideways on his shoulder and smiled a bit. "Henry? Yes, he's fine. Okay. He's right here," he said and passed the phone to Shawn.

Since Shawn's head was so close to his, he didn't have to strain to hear the conversation.

-" _Working?_ "-

"Of course, Dad, what else would I be doing?" Shawn asked. Carlton snorted.

' _Certainly not playing in a pool with the head detective of the SBPD. That'd be too Shawn-like'_ Carlton thought to himself.

_-"I just thought I'd check on you. Will you have enough wood?"-_

"Yeah. Digging posts now. It's hot out here. Anyways, gotta go. Anything else?"

-" _Put Carlton back on._ "-

"Yes?"

-" _If he stops working, call and I'll take care of him._ "-

"Will do, Henry. Talk to you later."

And with that, the two… well, Carlton walked back to the pool and threw them both back into the water.

"Lassie, I think you might have broken my collarbone!" Shawn whined while munching on the pizza Carlton called out for.

' _It seriously hurts,'_ he whined a little more to himself.

"Seriously? You're such a woman sometimes!" Carlton tossed at him before taking a sip of his Dr. Pepper.

"You know, that could be considered discrimination, Lassie. Now that you know…" he informed Carlton and grinned at the look on his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sure you didn't miss me talking about Dom, James, Todd, Eli, Frank, Billy, Zeb, Caleb, Eric, Nick, Matt, and Will… or, seriously, was he Bill?"

"Oh, I didn't forget. I just didn't take you seriously. You were pissed at your dad."

"And you think my natural reaction would be to lie about being bi?" he looked up at Carlton, a piece of his pineapple and ham pizza stopped halfway to his mouth.

"Weren't you?" Carlton looked at him curiously.

"Course not," he said simply, eyes down. He was trying to play it off, but he wasn't really doing that well. What was with him lately?

' _Seriously, this is so not who I want to talk to about this. He's the one I_ want! _So not the right person to talk to. Ughhhh.'_

' _Lunch was hours ago. He'd been quiet towards the end and had dove right into work after the last piece of pineapple-covered pizza. I wonder what's wrong with him… I'm soooo bored.'_

An idea was forming in his head. He smiled. Picking up his phone, he looked through his contacts until he came to…

' _Gotcha.'_

Carlton was in his kitchen yet again.

' _I'm watching Shawn yet again. Mmmm. Waiting for one Burton Guster to arrive. It's Shawn's friend, but who knows him better? Besides, I need someone to talk to… and Shawn would like another face for dinner. Did I tell him to bring swim shorts? Damn.'_

Snatching his phone up, he dialed again and relayed his message before Gus got too far from home. He suppressed the laughter sparked by the 'totally manly squeak' Gus let loose and listened to him say something about getting some from the store, because he wanted to get here asap. He finally laughed when he hung up the phone.

' _Well, I've got the posts all set up and even have two panels done. SWEET.'_ His face still fell at the thought. ' _Yeah, really sweet, because once this is done, you're never getting back here.'_

He sighed aloud and turned his song. Another song. He smiled.

"We-hell- I see them every night in tight blue jeans, in the pages of a Blue Boy magazine…"

Shawn stopped singing so he could twist his body around, popping everything he could.

' _Ugh. I hurt. Everywhere._ Sigh.  _Wonder what Gus is doing. Wonder what Lassie is doing…'_ Shawn turned his head toward the house and stared for a moment. Giving a particularly vicious kick to the shovel for thinking about him yet again felt good because it let out some of the irritation, but the kick actually hurt a whole bunch. He gasped in pain and felt his foot throb.

' _Owww. Stupid.'_

His head popped up and steadied on the house. Something was calling him to the house.

 _Gus? It was the Gus Call. Was Gus here?_ Shawn's lips pulled up at the corners. His Gus Radar had never failed him yet.  _Gus must be inside. Have to get to Gus._

Shawn hopped up and started to clean up his mess as quickly as humanly possible.

"I brought  _three_ trunks just in case. Pool time is sacred and should not be wasted," Gus announced when Carlton opened the door.

"How are you, Guster?"

"Quit hedging," Gus unintentionally mimicked Carlton from earlier. "What do you need to talk about? We only have a short period before the Gus Call goes out. I'll explain later."

"Shawn…" Carlton glanced at the back door. Gus stared at him a moment, scrutinizing his face.

"Oh my god! Did you sleep with him?" Gus hissed.

"What? No! The only things we've done is eat lunch and play in the pool," he explained.

"The pool? THE POOL! Carlton! The pool is magic," Gus proclaimed and shook his head sagely.

"It's a pool, Guster, a pool."

"If you say so, but both of our parents met each other at the pool. The pool draws in couples like.. like… um?" Gus cocked his head a moment. "Like oxygen? Small children? Fat people in bikinis?"

' _He's nuts. Maybe. Does make sense… After all, Lauren and Raul…'_

Gus shuddered and swallowed. "Never mind. Anyways, you get it."

"Huh…" he glanced back at the door.

"Do you like him, Lassiter?" Gus asked seriously.

"I think I do, Gust… Gus." Carlton's head turned back to Gus. Gus smiled.

"Well, tell him. Just don't do it around me. He's like a brother and the image... No one wants it," Gus said hurriedly.

"Got it, Gus." Right then, the two heard Shawn prancing across the porch, singing loudly to Michael Bublé's "Sway," a song he'd gotten stuck in Gus's head three times this week.

"He knows. He always knows when I'm near him. I'm going to go hide somewhere until you're done…" he said and took off at Mach 5 for the guest room. Two seconds later, Shawn walked through the back door, eyes darting around.

"Is Gus here?" Carlton, from his seat at the table, laughed. "So, I take it that's a no?" He visibly deflated. "Anyways, I'm done today. I can't work anymore."

' _Earth to Lassie?'_

"Um, Lass?" In response, Carlton stood and moved to stand in front of Shawn. He cocked his head to the side and simply stood there staring into hazel eyes.

"Lass?"

"Yeeeeees?" he asked, drawing out the word quite a bit.

"Y'kay?" Carlton smiled a dazzling smile at Shawn in answer.

' _I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.'_

"Mhmm," Carlton murmured.

' _Okay, this is either going to get weird or get awesome. I'm voting for AWESOME.'_

Carlton took another step closer, then another, and another. Before Shawn really knew what was happening, he had stepped backwards into the wall and felt Carlton take one more step, bringing him flush against him.

"Uh, C-carlton?" he stuttered hopefully. Every single curve on Carlton's body found its own little curve to hug on Shawn's body.

' _Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!'_

Slowly, so slowly, Carlton lowered his head down.

' _If this is a big joke, I swear to god, I will kill him…'_

Shawn watched breathlessly as Carlton paused a moment, then slowly pressed his lips into his own. He felt Carlton's large hands slide up his hips before grasping his waist tightly. Carlton took yet another step into him; their bodies were so close right now that he couldn't tell what was his body and what was Carlton's body.

"Oh my sweet holy pineapple goddess," Shawn whispered in happy shock.

Carlton pulled his head back a bit and laughed, the quiet laugh blowing into his face. This time, when Carlton pressed their lips together, it was rougher… Shawn's arms came up to circle Carlton's neck, his back arched, and his hips ground into Carlton's.

' _DEAR GOD, that felt… unhh.'_

Shawn felt Carlton's chest rumble in appreciation and gasped at how erotic the feeling was. Carlton moved one hand to Shawn's shoulders, the other to his lower back moments before he finally pressed his tongue into Shawn's mouth.

'…'

"Shawn?" Carlton slapped Shawn's face lightly and breathed easier when the he opened his eyes. Shawn stared at him for a moment, then laughed.

"Really? Did that really just happen?" He continued to laugh and stood up, latching tight onto Carlton.

 _Did… did he just pass out?_ As realization hit him, he tightened his hold on Shawn and laughed. The laugh rumbled through Shawn's body, unknowingly causing butterflies and pleasure to flood through Shawn's body.

"Shawn, god," he finally said. He leaned his head down again and placed a gentle kiss on Shawn's mouth before turning and yelling up the stairs, still holding tight onto Shawn.

"GUS!"

"I KNEW HE WAS HERE!" Shawn yelled in triumph. "I knew it!"

"Did he do it?" Gus yelled while tripping down the stairs in his excitement.

"Kiss me so awesomely that I literally passed out? Yes, yes he did," Shawn said while glancing up into Carlton's beautiful blues.

"Anyways," Carlton huffed, "I ordered Chinese. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go swim!" Gus yelled while bouncing around like a little kid.

 _Now I know why they're best friends._ Carlton laughed to himself while walking to answer the door.

"Gus, I found some pool toys and stuff while building the fence today. I get the raft, but you can have the worm!" Shawn called to Gus, who was changing in the bathroom just around the corner from the kitchen.

"Shawn, I never get the raft! I want it!" he called back to Shawn, who was streaking around the kitchen, completely naked. This was how Carlton found him moments later. Their dinner almost landed on the floor.

"Er, sorry, Carlton. I thought it'd be safe to change here," Shawn tried to explain a little sheepishly.

In reply, Carlton adopted a stoic expression and dropped his jeans to the floor. The effect was ruined, because he was already wearing his shorts, but Shawn still seemed to like it.

Remembering Gus, Shawn called back to him, "Finders keepers! I get the raft!" Shawn was taunting Gus in a singsong voice. Gus wasn't taking it, so he did what he should...

"Carlton!" Gus whined, coming into the room as Shawn pulled his shorts on.

"BOYS! Neither of you will get the raft if you can't share! Now, it's time to eat. Let's eat on the deck, okay?"

Both of the younger men scampered out onto the back porch, Carlton following behind at a slower pace. Neither of them had thought to help him carry anything outside, of course.

 _At least they grabbed drinks for everyone,_ he thought.

It felt absolutely normal for him to be sitting outside on his porch with Shawn and Gus, sharing containers of Chinese takeout, drinking sodas, and barely managing to contain the younger men's energies long enough to finish eating. The moment the food was gone, though, Gus and Shawn were sprinting to the diving board. Gus beat Shawn, but Shawn pushed him into the water so he could try, and fail, a graceful dive.

Carlton stood and watched the two boys beat the crap out of each other for a moment before he intervened. The moment he hit water, Shawn's eyes widened and he started a frantic dash backwards, leaving an unsuspecting Gus to fend for himself. Moments later, Gus went flying across the pool, kicking and screaming in excitement, followed quickly thereafter by a giggling Shawn.

The End.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> XX, Jaspre_Rose


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